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Why You Earned It: Fighting the Impostor

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Managing your Mental Health during your PhD

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Abstract

This chapter looks at how you might view your self-worth as a PhD student, looking at perfectionism, the Impostor Phenomenon and more, offering tips and tricks on how to manage these feelings.

(Trigger Warnings: discrimination, gaslighting)

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Notes

  1. 1.

    Note: there have been very little detailed studies on the effect of the Impostor Phenomenon on non-binary and gender diverse individuals. I want to acknowledge this. More research in this area is needed.

  2. 2.

    It is also somewhat ironic me giving you advice to master the Impostor Phenomenon. I struggle with it heavily, and even now, am still working on my internal voice telling me I am not good enough. As I write this book, I wonder if it is actually just a load of rubbish and if I actually know what I am talking about. The fact that I hope that this is just the Impostor Phenomenon, not me actually being rubbish, is exactly the point—I think I am the odd one out and I am the real impostor. Maybe I am though? You get the point.

  3. 3.

    In fact, I distinctly remember someone during my PhD using their painting skills to paint insulating epoxy onto (perhaps) the world’s smallest diamond electrode to run their experiment, something no-one else had the knack for.

  4. 4.

    Of course, calling out these thoughts and feelings is easier said than done. It takes time and practice to recognise them.

  5. 5.

    I managed to get a fair few papers out during my PhD, which was in part luck, but also as I was good at identifying collaborations and choosing not to engage in competing.

  6. 6.

    I am terrible for this, and used to end up spending a lot of time on each email to make sure it was “perfect”. In reality, as long as it is polite, there is no such thing as the perfect email.

  7. 7.

    Even after having given over 50 (yes 50!) talks, I still get that sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach before speaking. In the past I have even taken my contact lenses out before giving a talk so I could not see the audience.

  8. 8.

    Another thing to think about is—can you be the “friendly” for someone else? I try to do this, as I remember what it was like first starting out.

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Authors and Affiliations

  1. Rugby, UK

    Zoë J. Ayres

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Ayres, Z.J. (2022). Why You Earned It: Fighting the Impostor. In: Managing your Mental Health during your PhD. Springer, Cham. https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-031-14194-2_7

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